This whole time I've been enjoying the idea of a baby, but NOT wanting a pregnancy. Or the baby...yet. Having baby fever and actually wanting to get pregnant are two VERY different things!
However, I can feel myself getting into the mindset as the weeks fall away. I decided to TTC in June, but when we decided it, I wasn't 100% sure I'd be ready even though it was MY idea. As much as I want another baby, my pregnancies are rough! And labor...ugh, I'm still not over that one yet. Will's was just pure hell.
We had a slip up when Will was 6 months old and I was hugely paranoid. There weren't many happy feelings, I was pretty concerned! I was definitely sweating it out. Nothing came of it though, luckily.
This week we had our second slip up. This time I'm not horrified, I'm not panicking. Do I want to be pregnant right now? No, ideally I'd like to wait until June. But I realize now I'm in that "if it happens, it happens" type of mind set. There's no longer fear about getting pregnant. If it happens before June, it will be met with excitement, not worry.
That's not to say I'm ready to move into TTC or even NTNP yet, but I definitely think by June I'll be in a TTC state!
(For the record, I would love to say I don't think there's a chance of pregnancy with Will still breastfeeding and my cycles yet to return. However, if I actually say that, I KNOW my body will prove me wrong, so I'll just say it after the two weeks are up. lol)
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